Going to the Chapel

Greetings from Wedding Planning Land, where I am reporting live from a week of cake testing, venue touring, and impassioned eBay-bidding-war waging over an ‘80s Jessica McClintock gown. (I won and it was only $45 with shipping!)

I’m getting married in November and right now I’m grappling with the fact that, no matter how hard I try, my wedding will eventually look “dated.” I remember being a kid and gawking at reruns of TLC shows like Say Yes to the Dress and Four Weddings, vowing that, should I ever say vows, I would do so in the most timeless and classic way possible. In college, I interned at a bridal shop and cringed when girls spent thousands on trendy gowns. Didn’t they know that the hey-ho barn wedding was already practically passé?

Now that I’m staring down the barrel of a very non-shotgun wedding, my thoughts are evolving. In everything from wedding cakes to denim jeans, there really is no such thing as a true timeless classic. These days, the baseline basic evolves as quickly as the out-there statement. So why not fully commit to an-of-its-era event? To further research my new wedding philosophy this week, I look to some very stylish brides for inspiration.

I asked my friend, the writer, sketch actress, and ceramist Andrea Rose, to tell me all about how she sourced so many gorgeous looks for her dreamy San Francisco wedding:

Our wedding weekend took place at a historic Victorian mansion, so I wanted my welcome party outfit to match the spirit of our venue — and by that I mean, I quite literally wanted to look like a spirit, as if I were a beautiful Victorian ghost drifting around the property. 

Since I acquired most of my wedding wardrobe second-hand, I splurged on a welcome party dress, opting for a vintage-inspired gown from Mirror Palais that fully captured my ghostly vision. It’s made from creamy, fluttery silk charmeuse, and I felt like I was floating while wearing it.

I completed my welcome party look with this 1920s wax bridal flower crown I found on Etsy. It was such a delicate thing, with more than a few blossoms either cracked or broken. But these imperfections were just a charming reminder that another human being, perhaps even a fellow bride, wore this crown before me. And how special is that? 

I almost didn’t wear a “getting ready” look, mostly because I didn’t really see the point. But my tune changed when I found this 100% silk, early-2000s Victoria's Secret robe and slip set on eBay. It made me feel incredibly chic and bridal all morning, even during a moment of panic when I thought I lost my vows. (Don’t worry, I found them). 

My wedding dress was the Long Cocotte style by Vivienne Westwood. I loved it from the moment I saw it on their website in 2022 and immediately knew it had to be mine. The only issue? It was over twice my budget. 

So I did what any bride would do: got a more affordable dress  checked Stillwhite every hour of every day until I hunted down my white corseted whale. And after months of obsessive searching, I finally found it: my dream dress, in my budget and size. I nearly chickened out before purchasing it—because the gown was sold online, I had to buy it without trying it on. But I’m so glad I took a leap of faith, because the dress fit like a glove. 

Miraculously, my dress didn’t need any altering (not a brag, just a fact!!!). But I did have a tailor add more draping to the bust for an extra hit of drama and romance. 

We wanted our wedding to feel like a backyard garden party meets A Midsummer Night’s Dream, taking inspiration from the picturesque gardens surrounding the property. So to stay on theme, I wanted my bridal shoes to integrate a floral motif and a pop of summery color. I originally had a very specific pair of vintage Manolos in mind, but I ended up loving these Prada mules even more. The pink rosebuds and olive green ribbon matched the theme (and the colors of our stationery!) perfectly. And the best part? I found them on Poshmark for a total steal.

The low heel on my shoes allowed me to move comfortably throughout the day—ideal for frolicking around the property when my husband Sam and I snuck away for photos. 

I had a singular vision for my second look: a vintage Paco Rabanne disc dress. However, I knew that finding one in my budget would be pretty impossible (and it was). 

But lo! Months before my wedding, the Rabanne x H&M collection dropped, including this disc dress of my dreams. It turned out to be the perfect ensemble for a night of revelry, allowing me to dance uninhibited and give plenty of sloppy hugs without fear of dirtying a white dress.

Late into the night, one of the straps broke after some violent shimmying (nothing a safety pin couldn’t fix). But at this point in the evening, I was too delirious with love and gratitude to care. 

Christian Lacroix HC SS91 bridal look on Jennifer Noble:

Transfixed by the gorgeous wedding photos that Caroline Polachek can’t seem to scrub from the Internet:

Some great investigative journalism into why everyone read this wedding-set novelette a few years back:

And some other sleuths looking into why everyone is buying wedding guest dresses at A&F this summer:

This creator on TikTok has some really chic wedding dress ideas:

@remy_solomon

More niche cool girl wedding dress ideas! Blanket apology for bad pronunciation in this vid, did my best. Got some wedding dresses, bridal... See more

Learned so much about the history of wedding dress trends when we worked on this video last summer:

A nice curation of runway bridal in this thread:

And, lastly, here is my Letterboxd list of less-cheesy wedding movies: