I had an odd moment on my ride home the other day. In a horror movie-like sequence, I slowly realized that every woman around my age in my train car was wearing at least one egregiously legible microtrend. Oversized hair bows on one girl. Brazil tee on another. One woman was wearing those flimsy jelly lattice flats. A leather purse decked out in charms and baubles. Bloomers. I swear I’m not making this up. It made me feel like I was living in my phone, like online had just cannibalized real life.

I was thinking about microtrends and the myriad forces pushing the desire to partake in them down my throat when I saw this video from Keara Sullivan. She deploys the funniest and wisest take on the subject possible (no shocker there): microtrend shilling influencers have the same vibe as an evil royal adviser in a fantasy drama:

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I asked Keara Sullivan to further explore the psyche of the Grand Evil Fashion Vizier with some totally well intentioned fall trend predictions:

Hot Fall Trends According to My Definitely Not Evil Grand Vizier

by Keara Sullivan

I was in a bad way at the start of September. I spent every minute of every day ruminating over one, looming question. The nights provided little reprieve. I’d wake up breathless every hour,  that same burning question always on my lips. “What are cool girls wearing this Fall 2024?” I’d whisper into the darkness. I knew that cool girls would likely be wearing a combination of clothes and accessories, but which ones?! Was the “Office Siren” aesthetic still a thing? Or had we moved on? It was imperative that I knew these things. If I ever, god forbid, formed a sense of personal style and didn’t follow what everyone else was wearing, I’d be dead in this town. 

Lost in a sea of trends, I knew I needed fashion counsel from someone objective, someone trustworthy, someone definitely NOT evil! So I turned to the one person who always has my best interests at heart: Lord Grimsbane, my personal Grand Vizier and Master of Whispers. Before you ask, Lord Grimsbane is NOT evil, okay? He’s not like other grand viziers who scheme for power and manipulate their liege. No no! Lord Grimsbane’s wisdom, whether it be on matters of fashion or the realm, is never clouded by personal interests. He seeks only to serve the crown! 

But now I must take a moment to acknowledge my privilege. I know not everyone is so fortunate as to have their own personal Grand Vizier and thus the inside scoop on Fall’s hottest trends. Which is why I have decided to share the wealth (a.k.a Lord Grimsbane’s Fall 2024 fashion forecasts) below! Enjoy. 

1. 2010s Cookie Monster Comeback

One perk of having your own Grand Vizier and Master of Whispers is their extensive network of spies. Anticipating his liege’s desire for fashion guidance, Lord Grimsbane instructed these spy plebs to keep an eye on what the “it girls” were wearing and report back. Once they did, Lord Grimsbane silently crept up behind me and said, “There are whispers among the smallfolk that Fall 2024 will be the season when early 2010’s Cookie Monster mania is finally… back.” Look, I know what you’re thinking: Cookie Monster merch making a comeback? Get real! Everyone thinks that stuff is cringe now! In truth, I had the same reaction myself. “That’s what they said about Twee, Your Grace, but it returned as well…” Grimsbane replied, the orb in his scepter beginning to swirl and glow mysteriously. He had a good point! But still, I was wary. I asked to see the raven messages myself, but alas, Grimsbane informed me that the castle maids had already used them as hearth tinder. I would just have to trust him! I marched over to Lids and bought a wide-brimmed, rigidly-constructed Cookie Monster snapback that same day. I recommend you RUN - don’t walk - to your local Lids store and get one of these bad boys yourself. In the words of Lord Grimsbane, “Ah yes, a snapback! A most prudent choice… mwa ha ha!” 

2. Comically Large Oaken Barrels Held Up by Suspenders

I awoke the following day eager to style my new snapback purchase. I pulled my Free People Barrell Jeans out from the drawer and held them up before me. I’m embarrassed to admit that I was seriously considering wearing them. Thankfully, Lord Grimsbane emerged from the shadows to stop me just in time! “Forgive me Sire, but mayhaps it would be wise to swap out your Free People barrel jeans for something a bit more…. Shall we say… daring,” He said as he slowly stalked towards me. “Ah Grimsbane! What did you have in mind?” I replied. Lord Grimsbane then pulled a book out from my shelf and the wall twisted to reveal a large closet. Inside this secret armoire were only two items: a comically large oaken barrel and a pair of suspenders. Instantly enchanted, I threw my barrel jeans into the roaring fire and wore my barrel and suspenders the rest of the week. The only downside was that I could not fit through the castle doors as my barrel was too comically large. But Grimsbane, ever my faithful servant, offered to act as emissary and attend to matters in my stead on those days. Overall, I’d say that if you want to feel as effortlessly “cool girl” as I did, RUN - don’t walk - down to your nearest shipping yard and grab a barrel before they’re gone! 

3. Micro-Fabric 

Assuming that you’re not some sort of fashion rube, you’re likely already well aware that the Y2K revival of last year brought with it a resurgence of “micro” clothing items. Micro-purses, micro-skirts, micro-shorts, micro-tops! These surely sound familiar. But you might not be familiar with the trend’s newest innovation: micro-fabric. I myself was unaware of this new fabric frontier until Lord Grimsbane brought it to my attention. My week in the barrel had given me a few nasty splinters and it was time to shake things up. As we know, the trend cycle never stops! “Mayhaps something a bit more… breathable,” Lord Grimsbane said as he held an empty hanger (or so I thought) before me. Sensing my confusion, he explained, “Sire, let me assure you that this is no empty hanger! No no! The dress is merely woven from micro-fabric, a fiber so tiny and thin that it looks invisible to the naked eye. It’s having such a moment right now.… mwa ha ha!” Never one to doubt Lord Grimsbane’s wisdom, I tried it on. Though it felt a bit revealing, I had to admit that the micro-fabric felt rather soft against my pus-filled splinter gashes. “What if no one else is wearing micro-fabric today?” I asked Grimsbane. He began to tap his fingers together and walk backwards into the shadows. “They will soon… All in due time, my liege, all in due time.” As I left the castle that day, I could’ve sworn I heard a voice in the darkness whisper, “It’s all going according to plan.” But thankfully, I didn’t let that stop me from strutting my stuff! Nor should you! If anything, you should RUN - don’t walk - down to your… your… I’m actually not sure where they sell micro-fabric, come to think of it. But that’s what I have my Grand Vizier and Master of Whispers Lord Grimsbane for, am I right? Thank god he’s NOT evil!

Great insight from Mandy Lee here RE: microtrends evolving from discrete viral items to a rapidly changing lifestyle aesthetic:

@oldloserinbrooklyn

@Daniela microtrend have shifted from singular, easily recognizable items to entire world-building aesthetics. What do you guys think? #... See more

Interesting article in AD on microtrends and trend reporting in interior design:

And, finally…