Who Are You Wearing?

In the days leading up to the Met Gala or the Oscars, you’ll see commentators across social media fan-casting what looks they’d like to see — and on whom. Pretending you’re Law Roach dressing Zendaya for one of the most photographed events of the year is an addictively fun thought experiment. But crafting the more casual looks that actors wear to wrap parties, press junkets, and film festivals is just as much a part of a stylist’s job as the uber-glam looks of the glitziest red carpets. If anything, nailing a more laid-back yet still highly chic look is much more difficult than pulling a dazzling gown for a black-tie gala. Something that embodies the elusive quality of “effortlessly chic” for events where some stars may be in couture and others may wear jeans.

This is what’s going through my mind in the Nordstrom dressing room while my dear friend, the actress Megan Bitchell, tries on outfits for the premiere of Rent Free at the Tribeca Film Festival. (The movie is phenomenal and Meg is hilarious in it — truly go see it immediately.) The sales assistant, a fabulous woman named Michelle, checks in to see if she can grab us any other sizes, or maybe we’d like some sparkling water, and can she ask what kind of event we’re shopping for? The reveal that Megan is film-fest-bound elicits much excitement.

“Congratulations! Oh, that makes total sense! You picked out such different types of things to try on, I couldn’t figure out where you’d wear any of this!”

So true, Michelle. So true!

I asked Ivy Wolk to write about what she wore to Cannes this year, where the film she was in, Anora, won the Palme d‘Or:

IVY WOLK’S CANNES FASHION DIARY

My manager told me I was going to need like seven fucking outfits for all of the parties and press events and premieres I was supposed to be attending at Cannes, events that I thought would be open and easy and scheduled to fall into my lap ‚ but when I landed in France and hung everything up in the Airbnb closet I was told that I would have to find where to go all by myself. That’s too much goddamn work! I ended up serving three major looks in the week that I was there, which ,again was not as many as I was led to believe I’d have to turn out, but at least this makes it so that I have a few dresses left over that I haven’t yet worn outside of a store, and I can save them for the next smattering of red carpets in this current period of my film career where I’m too broke for a stylist or a runway rental. The following is a breakdown of the outfits and the events that called for them…. 

LOOK 001: Oh, Canada Premiere and Afterparty 

My friend Taylor Wells was an associate producer on Oh, Canada, the new Paul Schrader flick, which premiered in the main competition. She stunned in Rodarte, which has had me sort of hungry for some Rodarte ever since. I wore a Fall 2009 Ready-to-Wear Mary Katrantzou satin dress, printed to look like a perfume bottle, and a stunning and fucking impractical pair of ‘80s Alaïa-studded suede boots. I picked up both at Arcade Vintage in Downtown Los Angeles the morning after I was in the ER for throwing up blood and days-old undigested food. I felt so thin in the store! This dress did me well and cost honestly not too aggressively much… I was instantly so gaga for it. Audacious, unique, and perfectly structured, I knew I wasn’t going to find anything similar anywhere else and I also knew a lot of bitches would be scared to pop out in a bold textile and a baby shit-chartreuse (BRAT, you’re nothing)... I had to have it. My mother wasn’t too keen on her until the gorgeous and patient gay sales clerk, who, much like me, was not afraid to call something MATRONLY when the situation demanded, brought out the Alaïas… I paired the two together and boom. Fucking delicious. Now those Alaïa boots had me sweating at checkout! But one does what one must and I was lowkey rolling in it last month…

I wish I knew that these boots hurt like hell, though, because as soon as the lights dimmed in the theatre I unzipped the backs and let the dogs breathe. After the premiere, I put the boots back on and limped out of the Palais to the afterparty on the beachfront, and after a glass of wine did not numb my throbbing arches, I decided I was going to hold the boots in my arms all evening like a second purse. A group of us ended up leaving the party around 2:30 AM and we walked the streets of Cannes for like an hour, and I was barefoot (sockless, too), pounding pavement and cobblestone and brick and gravel, letting the cold ground take down some of the swelling in my toes and heels. Being barefoot in public feels like having your vagina exposed; I knew everyone was staring and I knew they were wondering why it wasn’t even that pink. The dress was hard to crouch in but served me well. I cannot fathom wearing these $350 boots again in my life but I have to because I’m Jewish and a masochist and the price tag hurts me more than a bloody ankle ever will. I got home and washed the black off the bottoms of my feet in the tub before eating prosciutto and going to bed. 

LOOK #2: VILLA PARTY 

My friend Blu Hunt was in town from Dublin for the festival. I ran into her when I was shoeless in an alley the evening before, and she invited me to a party she was throwing at her and a friend’s rented villa. I wore the most gorgeous yellow slip from IGE Vintage on Beverly Blvd in Los Angeles (next to the new Alfred Coffee location) with a Leg Avenue (LOL I KNOW) ruffle bloomer and a pair of gold heels from Re-Mix Vintage Shoes, also on Beverly Blvd… I love this look. I was so tired this entire party. I only stayed for like two hours but I saw some Anora friends and my friend Carly from high school who goes to college in Paris now. Carly took this: 

I love this dress so much I can’t even cope. This was almost my Anora premiere look but I was worried it would be too sheer and scandalous for the Palais… the French are no longer “bohemian.” You can’t let them see your bush, they will think you are weak.

LOOK #3: ANORA PREMIERE AND AFTERPARTY 

This dress… oh bitch. Another look from IGE Vintage in LA. ‘50s chiffon prom dress… are you fucking KIDDING? A cumberbund! A faux collar! A SCARF! It fit me like a glove. My mother almost cried seeing me in it for the first time. I paired the gown again with the gold heels from Re-Mix Vintage Shoes.

First of all, the movie is perfect. Sean Baker is a true genius and Mikey Madison is the best actress of our generation, bar none. The afterparty was on the roof of a casino next to the Palais and it was windy as fuck out there. All the bar served was wine and Campari so I drank like three wines and everyone got really sleepy. When the afterparty ended at 10, Murrie, Vlad, Anton, and I went to “Ma Nolan’s Irish Pub,” the one English-speaking bar on the Croisette, per producer Alex Coco’s recommendation. We drank more and laughed and chatted and tried to get Telegram to work with no luck… the rest of the crew met up with us there later, where Justine bought a karaoke microphone for 40 euros off of a bum who wanted us to buy his bedazzled baseball hats instead. I took the karaoke microphone and full out, all the way through, sang a pitch-perfect and touching rendition of “The Star-Spangled Banner,” catching the attention of everyone around us… I choose to believe that everybody loved my song. Anton and Vlad and I also did a three-way cover of “Creep” by Radiohead and it was probably the loudest anybody has ever been. I made Murrie take a million photos of me and we flirted with ugly old French men in the bar when we got bored of everyone we knew. It was so special… the most wonderful company… I got randomly so horny this evening. 

That’s all from me… baby’s first Cannes!!! Many more to go because unfortunately for a lot of people I will be famous forever and I will never die.

Some of my fav film festival looks:

This article by Amy de Klerk perfectly articulates the biggest trend in red carpets right now, theme:

This recent episode of Articles of Interest is a great history of the celebrity stylist as a phenomenon:

Kirsten Dunst in Chloe at the 2011 Cannes Film Festival grimacing through Lars Von Trier's Nazi rant:

Lisa Kwon urging celebrity PR to RETVRN to FM radio interviews for Dirt:

A few of my favorite looks that celebrities have worn to truly the most random events:

This round up of Parker Posey looks really nails just how casual a cool girl can get away with dressing:

Anne Hathaway calling her interviewer a “forward young man”:

Before the ubiquitous Naked Dress, there was the Backless Dress:

And, finally, no comment: